you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
