can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
