we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
