he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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