i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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