well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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