at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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