the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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