You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
