brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
