he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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