Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
