I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
