Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
