omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
