69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
