How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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