Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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