I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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