I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
