the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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