smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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