it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
