somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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