I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
