singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
