we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
