You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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