I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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