Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
