in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
