you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
