The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Randomize
