His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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