I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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