your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
