I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
