Dual....:-)
She announced her abortion via fbk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
