im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
