Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
