Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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