OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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