eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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