One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
