Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
