i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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