I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
