i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
