you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
