I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
