Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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