i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
